Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
accomplished twins. life is a go
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
