JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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