I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
and you fell through a lawn chair
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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