I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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