I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
