the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
