I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
