I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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