Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize