i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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