kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
