I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Randomize