Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Boobs are out for the taking
My dick has a subreddit
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
