the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
