Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
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