I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
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