ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
