she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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