holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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