Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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