why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
