I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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