As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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