That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
