Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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