I want to stick my p in your. b.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I've blown a few things in my day
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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