I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I wear drunk well.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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