So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Randomize
