She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
