did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
