hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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