turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
True strength comes from lack of pants
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
