We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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