that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
