I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
