Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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