could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
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