1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize