A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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