Already got asked if we're dating
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Randomize
