At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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