why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Randomize
