I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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