Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
grandma shit on top of the toilet
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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