Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
