She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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