Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Randomize
