I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
