I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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