This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
