Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I take back everything I said about communal showers
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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