I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize
