I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
