So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
