doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Let's get the cat blown out
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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