when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize