You work out of a Hotel?
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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