yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize