i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Operation Purity has been aborted
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
