Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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