My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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