Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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